Jokes of the month

Angry teacher: "Why are you so late?" Lazy pupil: "Well, I saw the sign in the street that said: "School ahead - go slow!"

It was two o'clock in the morning when Fred phoned Joe. The phone rang for hours before it was picked up and Joe's sleepy voice said: "Hello?"
"Sorry to get you out of bed at this time of night, " said Fred.
"That's all right," said Joe, "I had to get up anyway to answer the phone."

"Did you take my advice about your sleeplessness?
Did you count sheep?"
"Yes, I did, doctor. I counted up to 482,347."
"And did you fall asleep?" "No - it was time to get up!"

Teacher: "I wish you would pay a little attention."
Pupil: "I'm paying as little as I can."

Teacher: "This essay on "My Dog" is exactly word for word the same as your brother's."  Child: " Well, it's the same dog."